Texas 44, North Carolina 14
To commemorate the win over the "Tar" Heels and another victory for lefty Chris Simms, here's:
Song of the South(paw)
Zip-a-dee doo-dah, Zip-a-dee hey.
My, my, my, what a lopsided game!
Plenty of Vasher, running all day;
Wonderful Defense, Offense was lame.
Mr. Mack Brown on the sideline.
It's Simms, it's scary.
Everything ain't satisfact'ry.
Zip-a-dee doo-dah, Zip-a-dee hey.
Applewhite's feeling, left out in the rain.
Well let's just hope Mack Brown was pulling a Bre'r Rabbit and not a Bre'r Bear by limiting his offensive schemes so as not to show his true hand to future opponents, and more specifically OU. No doubt the Sooner defense will be the biggest briar patch
Cory Redding, Derrick Johnson and Quentin Jammer - the good, the bad-ass and the ugly. Cory gets a pic and a flip for
DJ, the true frosh got off. All I can say is if opposing offenses are keying on DD Lewis, they won't be doing that for long. The kid plays sideline to sideline like a pinball in bonus play. He's all over the place. His sack late in the game would have made Ike Turner blush. He hit Donald Curry in the back so hard I could smell the stank in the stands. DJ was halfway to the sideline celebrating before he realized he had jarred the ball loose. You can be sure the coaches are going to have a field day with his ass in film session.
Q. Jammer got a big, fat mouthful of humble pie on NC's only real scoring drive of the game. Before the season started, he told reporters that no one would get more than 50 yards in receiving on him all year.
After reconfiguring the Pythagorean theorem, disproving
SPECIAL TEAMS - Those of you who have read the commentary over the past few years know that no one's been harder on special teams than I have. In my mind, special teams have accounted for at least half of the Longhorns' losses in the Mack Brown era - punting to David Allen of K-State in '99, the phantom touch that lead to a fumble lost on punt return at A&M in '99, the blocked punt returned for a score at Stanford last year and who could forget the fiasco against NC State (still have yet to get over that one). So let me be the first to give them some much needed recognition where it's due. Despite a muffed punt return that lead to an NC score, record setter Nathan Vasher looked unstoppable. If you ever want to see a text book punt return, watch how
"NAUGHTY BABY DID A NO-NO"
44 points on Cole Pittman Day. Oliver Stone, eat your heart out. Good luck to Cole's family. I hope they found some sense of comfort in the arms of 84,000 fans.
Senior Wide Receiver Montrell Flowers' football career ended after he sustained a lacerated kidney during the NC game. What's even more amazing is that after getting a CT scan, Doctors noticed that Montrell was born with only one kidney. To put it mildly, playing football with only one kidney is a little like playing Russian Roulette every time you step on the field.
"....I look for them to make a game of it early, but start to fade by the 3rd quarter" Call me 54Beelzabub and never doubt my powers again. All right, I pulled that prediction out my ass, but you've got to admit it was pretty damn good for a guy who couldn't pick out a pair of clothes that matched at the GAP.
On my way to download the Houston Cougar playbook off of Questia.com, I noticed that
After Tropical Storm Simms rains all over a depleted Houston Defense,
the Cougars will be about as harmful as Mr. Bigglesworth.
TAILGATE UPDATE w/ Nad E. Lite
Due to the economic conditions ("noticing all this plight kids?") surrounding the
UNFORTUNATELY, this is the only game I will not be able to attend this year. But as we were reminded so tragically last week, in life, there are many things more important than football, like the wedding of a close friend. For those of you who are going, have fun and give 'em hell. I believe Paul Moorman may have a small tailgate set up right outside the stadium.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"I had an interesting thought. No one ever flew an airplane into Transalvania while Vlad the Impaler was in control. We should take a cue from him. When we get Bin Laden, we should shove a 10 foot stake up his ass and stand it up in the ground on the White House lawn. It should take a couple of days for the pole to work its way all the way through him as his body weight and gravity pull him down. We would then leave it there as a sign to other terrorists."