Texas 42, Oklahoma State 7
A Channel 24 Exclusive…
Hey Longhorn Fans, Mike Barnes here, on location with what appears to be a religious zealot who has climbed up a billboard on I-35. He is using what looks to be a modified water balloon launcher to pelt the side of Royal Memorial with super delicious, no make that Macintosh apples. Mr. Nugent, would you care to make a statement?
"Okay, yeah, um Mack, look man, it's like in Genesis, that Adam dude, he was way off, God wants you to pick the apple."
Okay, you heard it here first folks. Mr. Nugent vows that he will stay up here until Mack starts the Major. Somebody get this man a Snickers, he's not going anywhere for a while. For KVET, Channel 24, this has been Mike....
"Pick the apple man"
Excuse me, do you mind, this has been Mike Barnes with eye witness sports. Backdoor, I mean back to you Dave Cody.
It could happen....
Well slap me silly and call me sally, the Wonderbread boy starts again. The last time a little blonde kid was this fortunate, he wound up owning a chocolate factory. Shit, get Wonka on the phone and get those gosh darn Oompa Loompa's down to Austin and drag this kid out of here. If it wasn't for the ever popular hand-to-the-groin penalty against the Cowpokes, Simms would have begun his third straight start with an interception. I'll give him one thing, at least the lad's consistent. Oh the humanity being played out before our very eyes. Game 4, Scene 2: In dramatic fashion our hero enters sideline left, the Major saves the game and brings the curtain down on OSU with the always crowd-pleasing 96 yard touchdown pass. Yes, I think I've seen this movie before, I believe it was called "An Officer and a gentleman who has no business starting at quarterback". Okay, that was a stretch but I didn't think you'd buy "Remember the Creton".
Once the "real" field general entered the game, Major and the offense began to get a rhythm and put some points on the board. The line employed a new gap protection scheme. What's gap protection you ask? Simply put, the offensive line blocks an area rather than a man. If somebody comes into your assigned gap, that's your man. It's a good scheme when your opponents' defense exhibits a lot of movement up front. With 205 yards rushing (Kenny Hayter, shades of Butch Hadnot) and another 300 in the air (Roy Williams, he's your daddy), I'd say the ploy worked. If anybody but Major Applewhite starts next Saturday, I will jump down, turn around and leave the Cotton Bowl faster than you can say Fletcher's Corny Dog.
Another solid performance. In fact I put the onus of OSU's 7 points on the Special Teams. Tubbs filled in admirably for
Oh they're special all right. I've got 3 words for Mack, Special Teams Coach. It's not that difficult to punt the ball. Teams have been doing it for years. Get off the short bus and give us some fucking protection up front. When
RED RIVER SHOOTOUT
OU is ranked 10, UT is at 11 in the AP Poll. This game is finally going to live up to it's billing. Good tickets are being auctioned off at over $500 a piece. Big D is going to be a rocking this weekend. How good is OU? Hard to tell, they haven't really played anybody. That and the fact that it will be their first game on the road works to the Longhorn's advantage. Of course the old adage still applies; when these two teams get together, you can throw the record books out, because it's anybody's game. Applewhite should be able to throw on the Sooners but they have a physical defense that is capable of shutting down the run. On the other side Heuple has a very good arm and could move the ball against a young
54B will drink way too much and get arrested for propositioning a female officer with the always popular "Excuse me lady, have you seen my corn dog"line...sorry wrong prediction. Got to go with my Lawyer on this one, and not just because I will most likely be in need of his services on Sunday morning, but because he is football savvy and he's seen both teams play in person. He has the Horns winning 36-26. Can't argue with that.
Here's a good idea, let's all meet at
QUOTE OF THE WEEK"I'm really getting tired of this, we're going to have to do something about it this week" - Mack Brown referring to having another punt get blocked. It was