9.23.2000

Texas 48, Houston 0

Just hanging around the stadium in search of…

THE PERFECT CHEER

SIMMS, SIMMS, he's our man, if he can't do it.....MAJOR can!

MAJOR, MAJOR, he's our man, if he can't do it.....the DEFENSE can!

DEFENSE, DEFENSE, that's Mack's plan, if they can't do it......

We'll go 9 and 5 AGAIN!!!

We've got QB's, yes we do-

not just one, how 'bout two.

Go Mack, go Mack, go back to the woods,

Your defense kicks ass, your offense is no good.

TEXAS!!!................FIGHT!!!!!,

SIMMS!!!...............APPLEWHITE!!!!

CO-STARTERS, PART II?

Evidentially last weeks' attempt to discredit the communist approach to coaching football missed the "Marx". I think old Carl would be proud of Mack and his Quarterback Manifesto that states in no uncertain terms that Texas has two starting signal callers and they will continue that way until Taiwan is given back to the Chinese. Well I got news for Mack Brown, Uncle Sam agrees with 54b. That philosophy didn't work for the “Reds” and it sure as hell isn't going to work for the Burnt Orange either. The offense is failing because they can’t achieve any form of consistency and they can't count on anything including their coach. Mack's got two weeks to pick a quarterback, name a starter and put this train back on the track.

WHO'S YOUR STARTER?

The average fan can pick up a rulebook and figure out that field goals are worth 3 points and if you get called for holding you're going to lose 10 yards. These are just two of hundreds or rules that govern the game of football. But what many fans don't know and what every player who's ever played the game knows all too well, is that there are a handful of unwritten rules. Some of these include: A player can't lose his job because of an injury, a player doesn't go full speed in practice when everyone else is going half-speed, you don't argue with your teammates through the media, 54b is not allowed to go into the game unless we are up by 30 with less than two minutes to play...actually, that last one was written down but I think you still get the point. Another one of these unwritten rules is that a player does not earn a position through reputation, nor affiliation. So the fact that Mack Brown is starting an unproven Chris Simms because of what he did in high school and because he has a nice pedigree is not going to sit well with the other players. The only thing Simms has proven is that he is smart enough to find the stadium and good enough to find the bench after one quarter. My point is that he has not earned the position convincingly and unless he beats Major outright for starting job then he should be designated as the back-up. If Applewhite's not getting the job done then bring Simms in, but not on a rotating basis. If Mack wants to swap so bad, he needs to grow his hair out, put on some Freedom Rock and through his wife's keys in the fishbowl with the other swingers.

THE GAME

If you felt good about that 48 to nothing blanking of Cougar High, I bet you’re into high fiber diets and shaking hands with Doxidan because the Texas offense is about as irregular as your grandpa after a record flag raising night at Ponchos. For the sixth time in a row, the Horns did not score in the first quarter. The offensive line didn't pick up the blitz again and Simms threw another pick that should have resulted in points for the opponent if not for the 39" vertical leap of one of the field goal blocking linebackers. Almost half the points were put on the board by the defense. Speaking of the defense, kudos to them. Anytime you get a shut out, no matter the opponent, you know they worked their asses off. The DB's are starting to come together but they still haven't learned to defense the deep ball. Being the biggest critic of special teams, I must give them credit where it's due. They played a complete game and took up the slack for an otherwise uninspiring effort from the offense. Defenders are still getting too close to the punter though. Otherwise, a win is win and on to next week and OSU.

UNPREDICTABLE PREDICTION

Whether you’re in Dallas or Stillwater, doesn't matter, the Cowboys suck this year.

THE TAILGATE UPDATE

Saturday, we'll be tailgating at 8:00AM (Scooby Doo) in the morning with Breakfast Tacos and Beer (Green eggs and cans). That's all I know so far

(I’m not the best tailgater in the business for nothing).

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"We got the Fourth and Long-horn Defense."

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