Two all beef D-Linemen,
Special teams, punt it please,
Applewhite to Kwame,
On a natural grass field.
"Welcome to Iowa St, may I take your order?"
"Yeah, give me 11 touchdowns, 3 field goals and 600 passing yards."
"Would you like to supersize that with some warm humble pie?"
"You betcha Ronald!"
The sign of any good team is the ability to be humbled by a lesser opponent so your mind stays focused on the task of winning a championship, the trick is doing it without losing. The Iowa State game was about has humbling as you can get without losing. Last week I predicted "a close one eh", but that was ridiculous. Give Mack and the boys credit for coming through with a win even when the situation called for an upset - the Horns were coming off an emotional high, playing on the road against a team with nothing to lose, and dealing with a group of officials made up of Grimace, the Hamburglar and Mayor McCheese. Iowa States red and yellow uniforms must of made those refs hungry for Big Macs and Fries because their minds sure as hell weren't on the game. Oh well, once again, a win is a win. The Cy-clowns offense supersized the Horns' secondary for over 300 yards in the air and when Iowa State's quarterback wasn't getting the special sauce knocked out of him, he was completing passes that defied reason. If that guy pulled anything else out of his ass, he would have yanked out his colon. On the heavier side, the D-line made up of Rogers, Woodard, Hampton and Humphrey held Darren Davis and Iowa State's potent rushing offense to a meager 67 yards. Texas' version of the four horsemen had the Cyclone backfield so confused, they looked more like a shift change at McDonalds. On the lighter side, the Horn's offense kept the hot side hot and the Cyclone side cold. Applewhite hit Cavil eleven times making the commentator sound more like a broken record on extended play. Montrel Flowers decided to blosom and established himself as a legitimate deep threat hauling in two touch down passes, one 40-yarder at the end of the first half. The little chap Nunez came through again catching a ball on a deep post to help set up the winning score. Gee, where have we seen that before? And for the second week in a row, the Horns' offense turned the ball over zero times. That is huge because as you can see, Texas needed all 44 points to win the game. It's a lot easier to win when you don't beat yourself. Lastly, Special Teams are finally coming around. The kick off team forced a fumble and scored a rare touchdown. Of course their bid for a perfect game was spoiled in true Longhorn special teams fashion, when they got back on the short bus and let the Iowa St. kick returner, whose name is Moses, part the orange sea and return the ball to the Texas 10 yard line. Well, just like ordering breakfast at McDonalds at 9:58AM, we'll take whatever reheated shit we can get.
I hope you got your ears on Longhorn fans, because unless you're going to Stillwater, you'll be watching the game via the radio. Evidentially those slowpokes at Oklahoma State still think a radar dish is better suited for feeding the hogs than transmitting a football game back to the good folks in Texas. The Yo-Yo of OSU play up one week and down the next. They beat Tech by 20 and then lost to A&M by 20. But you can bet they'll be up for the Horns, which brings us to this weeks...
How long's it been since you've have a big can of Texas whoop ass chili?....well partner, that's too long. OSU fans, board up the Wal-Mart, it's going to be a blow out in Stillwater. Horns roll on!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"Hey, what does banjo coverage mean?" – My wife
"Not now, I'm trying to watch the game" - Me
"If you don't teach me, how am I supposed to learn?"
"Where's your sports radio anyway?" "If you're referring to the electronic baby-sitter, I left it at home"