Texas 62, Baylor 0

"Hey Booboo, what do you say we join the Big XII"?

"What about the Longhorns Yogi"?

"F*ck the Longhorns Booboo, we're better than the average Bears"!

Sorry Yogi, Ranger Applewhite says you and the rest of the other bears pretty much suck and proved it over and over again last Saturday night. Most Baylor fans left the game before half-time and it wasn't because they had to get up early for a good seat at church. Nope, it was the 62-0 spanking the horns handed the defenseless bears and if the sea of orange and green in the stands didn't make you want to puke, the quality of play on the field sure did. The only "Miracle on the Brazos" this year was that the Horns didn't score 62 by half-time. Thank God, the exhibition season is over and it's on to K-State. If you hard-ons don't have a ticket by now, you better start saving up. Nations Bank or sperm bank, doesn't matter, because you're going to need some serious cash to get into this game. Not only is it parents weekend, but both teams are ranked and for the first time this season, K-State actually looked beatable last weekend. Although I blame Iowa State's near upset of the Wildcats on their goofy Ronald McDonald red and orange costume uniforms. It took K-State two quarters and a 21-point deficit to figure out that they were at a football game, not a circus. Then, of course, they shucked Iowa State for twenty-eight proving once again that all clowns are worthless and should be shot. Sorry, that was a little too personal. On to the weekly prediction:

Come early, be loud and stay late,

Because as Ben Crenshaw likes to say,

It's fate, horns will beat K-State.