Texas 18, Rice 13

"Mr. Rice Owl, how many licks does it take to get the Texas Defense to wake-up and stop the option?"

"Let's see, a one.... a two....a thirty-three--crunch!" With a Rice quarterback that makes passes about as well as Mr. Furley at the Reagle Beagle, one would think Carl Reese, the Texas defensive coordinator, would put the corners in man to man on the Rice receivers and bring the safety up, putting at least 8 men in the box to stop the option. Dive man, pitch man, or quarterback keeper, it's assignment football, not a paternity test. Oh well. Once again, a win is a win. Mack had 15 showing, told the house to "hit me," and got the 3 of hearts on a "never a sure bet" field goal from the Texas kicking team who, once again, put the "special" back in special teams. Anyway, Corky says "life goes on" and Horns win 18-13 in a game they tried to give away in the end again (NC St. flashbacks). But thankfully we were playing Rice, who after 40 years and four thousand losses still hasn't figured out that running an offense committed to the option makes about as much sense as communism in a world committed to the almighty dollar. Hell, even Oklahoma knocked the "Berlin Wall" of offensive philosophies down and started throwing the ball. You would think Rice, of all places would be smart enough to figure that one out. Evidentially the players go to school there, not the coaches. I swear, I'd rather spend three hours getting a tooth filled than watch Rice football. On to more important things: I'm sure many of you are extremely concerned with the fact that I haven't been able to put the NC State debacle behind me and end this reign of pessimism. But fret no longer, I have found a set of fans that deserve to be way more salty than I, our next opponent, the Baylor Bears. After watching Baylor get burned for a 99 yard, game winning fumble recovery with no time left, I didn't know whether I was watching a Baylor football game or a stand-off with ATF officers. Now we get to play them, and I'm sure getting shellacked 41-10 by the revamped Sooners last week hasn't mellowed them out any. Here's your free weekly prediction, Horns in a romp as they lube-up in preparation to be "queer bate for K-State" in the grab sack or grab your ankles game in two weeks.