Texas 51, Kansas 16

The weather was very angry my friends as an announced crowd of 20,000 watched the Longhorns slip a bit, but gather themselves to rock the Jayhawks 51 to 16. Did I say twenty thousand, yeah maybe if you're in Palm Beach, Florida. I won't bother with the recount, but let's just say that by the end of the game there couldn't have been more than about 200 people there - most had left, went under the stands to watch the OU/A&M game or never showed up in the first place. So there we were, Joby, Brett and myself along with the team, the Hell Raisers (Dorks in body paint) and a few of the state of Kansas' finest first class, white trash. For a while there, I thought it was bring an empty can of Pearl Lite and your inbred cousin gets in free day, provided he makes parole of course. I swear I could hear the dueling banjos and smell the candy corn breath on the back of my neck as the toothless mullet in front of me yelled "put in the waterboy". I can only imagine what Arrowhead must be like on Sundays. The fact that Chris Simms threw his league leading 4th interception (returned for a touchdown) of the year only served to spur the Richard Petty fan club on even more and stretched the Jayhawks lead over the Horns to 14 within the first 3 minutes of the ball game. At that point I thought I was going to need some ruby slippers and an armed escort to get out out of Kansas - the Horns were flat, Simms was green, it was the last home game for 20 Jayhawk seniors and my Jack Daniel's induced buzz had worn off. But I predicted Simms would rise to the occasion in last weeks' commentary (yeah I'm tooting my own Horns) and he did by hitting "go big Roy, it's your birthday" Williams four times for 180 yards in the first half alone. They made it look like recess for a while there and after the passing game took off, Hodges Mitchell went to town on the running game to the tune of 264 yards on 35 carries. He ran so far I thought we were watching a remake of the Billy Mills story. Anyway, Texas wins their 5th straight game and improves to 8-2. Eight and two, sounds pretty good until you put it in...

PERSPECTIVE

Yes, Texas has eight wins, eight wins over teams that haven't seen the sunny side of .500 since their first game when they squeaked by Midwest Directional Tech for their first and only win of the season. Texas ranks 93rd in schedule strength and has lost all national respect with a loss to Stanford and an absolute ass whipping at the hands of OU. With only A&M left on our schedule, it will be tough to change the minds of the voters, and the bowl selection committees for that matter. But still 9-2 is good enough to get to a bowl and if we win it, hopefully next year's cry will be "Remember the...."

ALAMO BOWL

Can you say "adobe" - because as sure as there is no basement in the Alamo, the Horn's will be in San Antonio over the holidays. I've read the papers, downloaded the articles and done the math - pretty much no matter what happens again A&M, the Horns will go to the Alamo Bowl. OU's in the BCS, K-State's on the way to the Cotton Bowl, Nebraska goes to the Holiday Bowl and A&M gets the shaft if they lose to Texas. If they beat us, they go to the Holiday Bowl and Nebraska gets the shaft. Either way, San Antonio wants the Horns and if we're lucky we'll play somebody like Michigan, that with a Texas victory, could provide some much needed momentum into next season and a little bit of relief for what has been a really shitty year.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Hey I didn't know KU’s stadium had a Jumbotron!"

"Yeah, but they don't use it much."

"Why not?"

"Cuz they don't replay f*ck ups."

On to the...

UNPREDICTABLE PREDICTION:

"The Thanksgiving Song" (if Adam Sandler was a Longhorn)

Love to beat Aggies. Love to beat Aaaaaaaa-gies!!!

Love to beat Aggies cause it's good,

love to beat Aggies like a good Horn should,

'cause there Aggies, they suck....big wood.

Aggies lost three, just lost to OU,

RC will be apologizing to Mack Brown too,

Love to beat Aggies down in Austin,

I once saw Roy Williams and he is awesome.

Aggies like to stand all game long,

84 thousand Texas fans can't be wrong,

Aggie-faggie foo and Aggie-faggie fat,

they once had an LB who's name was Dat.

Thanksgiving is a special night,

Chris Simms is gonna start for Applewhite,

Texas fight.

Aggies have a coach, his name's RC,

can't believe they dug up all those dogs named Reveille,

Watching the game, drinking a Bud,

can't believe Old Sarge fights like Elmer Fudd.

Offense, Defense, we just can't lose,

Even if the Ags give the ball to Tooms.

Aggies on the run from dawn to early morn',

It'll never be over till Gabriel blows his horn.

Sack Mark Farris - put him 6 feet deep,

Poor Aggies like to copulate with their sheep,

Aggie uniforms are cranberry,

Major Applewhite only has one knee.

Oh, Aggies in the corp are called the noble men of Kyle,

But they're about as close to real soldiers as Gomer Pyle,

Gobble gobble goo and gobble gobble Gig'em,

I hate those Aggies and I hope we beat'em.

Oh, Texas loves to beat Aggies on Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

TAILGATE UPDATE

If you can make it into town (get your MSG eatin' sleepy butterball ass off the couch), stop by the normal tailgating spot at SE Corner of 18th and San Jacinto, just look for the Smoker (and I don't mean Eric). We'll be kicking back the first frosty beverage at about 9:00 am (Eastern Standard Time). This should be the biggest of the year (cuz everything's big in Texas). We have 5 kegs of St. Arnolds beer, sponsor of the tailgate, (I think he was the kid on "Wonder Years") that will be there for all to drink; if you don't like it and prefer Coors Light or Busch (Natty Lite), then bring your own (Imported favorites). We will also have plenty of Venisan (Bambi Jerkey), Turkey, and Brisket on the smoker; enough for everyone (except Bitterly). I am counting on a few Longhorn Faithful to bring the Washer Boards along with their "A" Game (even if you had a 2.1 GPA). I will be on hand to dish out a repeat performance of the Lubbock ass-kicking put on a tall Fisherman and a Red-haired journeyman (gay carpenters on PBS).