Texas 31, Colorado 7
Despite showing signs of regression with a couple of first quarter slip ups only Freud could explain, Young got is Id together in time to help Ced, aka Mr. 5000, get a few extra rushing yards and a couple of TDs on the way to a 31-7 stampeding of the Buffs. Along with UT's version of Mr. Outside and Mr. Break-Inside, let's not forget about DJ and the Texas Defense, who purified the
MACK'S TOP 10 TEAM UNIFICATION EXPERIMENTATIONS
10) During two-a-days, surprised the players with "Kicker-Linebacker Helmet Swap Day."
9) Used real life Bevo to have team play "Pin the tail on the Longhorn."
8) Had the wide receivers catch Strength and Conditioning Coach Jeff "Mad Dog" Madden in the trust fall.
7) Organized a "Lock-in" for entire team down at the Travis County Jail while Bensen served time for a breaking and entering conviction.
6) Asked each player to write a letter to Santa requesting a new offensive coordinator, a BCS Bowl Bid and a lump of coal for Bob Stoops.
5) Instead of wind sprints, ordered team to do the 100-yard elephant walk.
4) Took the team to see the movie "Bad News Bears Go To Japan." (Sorry, that was team building at Baylor.)
3) Dressed entire offensive line in only a pair of shoes, a T-shirt and a jock strap for trip to Whataburger to test the "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" policy.
2) Two words: Community Soap.
And last but certainly least, Mack's number one team unification experimentation...
1) Had equipment manager type each player into the "Pimp Name Generator" at www.playerappreciate.com and replace their last names with their new "pimp names" on the back of their jerseys. (For example, Vince Young will now be called "Treacherous V. Slim." However, please note that Limas Sweed will still go by Limas Sweed.)
THE NEXT GAME
Okay, let's get this straight: the same
After hearing the results of
This weekend Whittemore and the gang (Jac Street Boys) have decided to turn the tailgate into a fundraiser (ooh, "soft" money) to help benefit a non-profit organization called "Forgotten Friends" (Where's Bill W?) and their cause to rescue Mixed Breed dogs (I like big mutts, and I can not lie). There will be some puppies (babe magnets) on hand in need of finding a good home ("We must protect this doghouse") and a raffle featuring items ("it takes balls") signed by none other than Cedric Benson (could be a flat screen) and Earl Campbell (he signed my sausage). 100% of the proceeds ("I'm all in") will go directly for heartworm treatments, spay/neuter (sterility now), food, and basic health care for dogs who would otherwise be put to sleep ("Fido don't play that"). And per the usual (fear change), there will be a lot of great food ("well I am what I eat") prepared by the exceptional chefs (guilty gourmets) and beer provided by Saint Arnold Brewing Company ("do you believe in miracles"). So please stop by the tailgate (Orangapalooza) before the Oklahoma State game (better Cowboy-up) and help support our four-legged friends (lend a paw won't you).
QUOTE OF THE WEEK"Did you hear the good news, Ralph Nader finally conceded this morning."