Texas 65, North Texas 0
TOP 10 SIGNS YOU WERE TAKING
10) Chanted "Darryl, Darryl" while coach Dickey and his players went through the breakfast buffet at the team hotel.
9) Offered to fluff football office cleaning lady's pillows if she would slip stolen X-Rays of Patrick Cobb's thumb under Mack's door last week.
8) Called Rand McNally and requested map of the Sun Belt.
7) Started cult of "Orange Crush Disciples" to challenge "Mean Green
Believers" to Mello Yello bladder-buster contest.
6) Asked total stranger to help re-apply your face paint in the men's room because your wife fled after unfortunate Jumbotron appearance during the second quarter.
5) Drove to
4) Paid an additional $30 to cable-company just so you could TiVo pay-per-view version of the game. (It's funny because it's true.)
3) Put American Idol audition on hold to perfect beboxing routine so you'd be ready when called upon to "Give (Longhonrns) a phat beat."
2) Risked unemployment by leaving bicycle rickshaw double-parked outside
Royal-Memorial for the entire second half because you were concerned
And the #1 sign you were taking
1) Brought more than one Bevo (XIII and XIV) to the game.
NOT SO MEAN GREEN
65-0, obviously Mack and the Horns were taking the Mean Green seriously. I can't remember ever seeing a Longhorn team more prepared to play a game. Sure,
The orange-colored glasses are definitely back out, but...before I go run off and announce us National Champs, I think I'll withhold judgment a while longer (probably ought a take a cold shower too). That was just one game. We still haven't seen any evidence that the Texas passing game has improved all that much, and with North Texas throwing so few passes, nobody knows if the DBs are capable of executing the zone defense either. But that's all about to change tomorrow with...
THE NEXT GAME
There wasn't a whole lot of preseason hype surrounding the Razorbacks as the pundits set the expectations low for a team with one returning starter on offense. Of course that one starter happens to be 6 ft. 6 in., 240 lb. QB Matt Jones and he only managed to beat N. Texas Sun Belt buddy
It's going to be crazy, but it's a good early season test. I expect the game to be very close for at least the first half. But I think
On the other side of the ball, here's another great test for the zone read. Houston Nut is a smart coach. Vince is going to have to be very disciplined when deciding whether to hand off to Ced and Mack and Greg Davis are going to have to throw the ball to stretch the Razorback defense and get some of them off the line of scrimmage and out of the running lanes (especially in the first quarter when they're all pumped up by the crowd.
As for just who will win, let's turn it over to the...
Welcome back to Theater Of The Absurd where
CHIP: "What do you think of the Razorback's chances Saturday?"
JULES: "I don't eat pork."
CHIP: "You don't think the Hogs have a good team this year?"
JULES: "No, I just don't dig on swine...pig's a filthy animal, I don't eat filthy animals."
CHIP: "But Matt Jones is good, the Hog defense is good."
JULES: "Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know, coz I wouldn't eat the filthy mother-f*cker."
Makes sense to me...
Though three weeks (or less) away from giving birth to our first child (Major Simms Davies), my wife has given me the okay ("you've got clearance Clarence") to make a quick trip to
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Near the tailgate, under the bridge over Waller Creek where it's "presumed" that many well-imbibed Longhorn fans go to relieve themselves...
Guy 1 (Trying to zip up quickly) "Um, I'm just looking for my keys."Guy 2 (Waiting to pee) "I hope that's all you're looking for."