Texas 28, Mizzou 20

If Bill Shakespeare were still alive and living in Austin last Saturday, Texas' hollow victory over Missouri might have inspired him to write another despondent soliloquy such as this...

QB, or not QB: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the game to suffer

Young's (side-arm) slings and floaters of outrageous misfortune,

Or to take Mock's arm against a secondary of Tigers,

And by switching, bench Vince? V-Y: to pass;

No more; But by a pass to Sweed, Mock ends

The heart-ache of 84-thousand shell-shocked fans

Though fresh off the bench, 'tis was a completion

Victory to be assured...

Obviously my mastery of iambic pentameter is rivaled only by the "poetry in commotion" that are Vince Young's throwing mechanics. What can I say, my 10^th Grade English teacher "left a few children behind" and taught poetry about as well as Greg Davis develops talent. Even so, I still managed to pass that class and who knows, maybe some day Vince will learn to pass and resurrect Texas' now defunct air attack. Otherwise, it may be a while before we can say there ain't no...

SHAME IN THE PASSING GAME

Would somebody please tell me what on God's green turf is going on around here. Was it not enough that Texas fans had to be subjected to a fifth straight loss to those "Stoopid" Sooners last weekend - now we have to endure the last five games of the season with an offense that throws like a girl. Between Vince "Side-arm Sally" Young and Chance "the Rusty Redneck" Mock, who knows if the Longhorns next passing attempt will be completed, intercepted or shot out of the air by duck hunters. Maybe I'm over exagerating, but is it out of line to question why the best passer on the 9th ranked team in the country is the 3rd string running back.

Thank goodness the Texas Defense came to play last Saturday. Without Robison's and Ross' interception returns that either scored a touchdown or directly set one up, Mizzou probably would have pulled the upset. And though it was nice to see Benson and the offensive line so dominate the Tigers to help UT seal a victory over a team with a very talented QB, a solid defense and a good chance to win the North Division, the victory still seemed hollow. Beating the Tigers was like finding just enough gas money between the seats in your car to reach the next cliff and drive off of it. Speaking of potential pitfalls, probably Texas' biggest challenge left on the schedule is...

THE NEXT GAME

Mack Brown, ever the consummate politician, tried to put the quarterback debate to rest Monday by stating Young, bruised ribs and all, was the starter. That's nice in all, but we all know it isn't the quarterback controversy before the game that matters, it's the one that erupts in the middle of the second quarter after Vince throws two picks, Texas goes down by a couple of scores and Greg Davis' best answer on offense is to take a knee on second down. And with Texas Tech averaging 70 points a game at home, things could get ugly in a hurry and if you've ever been to Lubbock, you know the place ain't exactly a thing of beauty to begin with. Time of possession is going to be crucial for Texas. To win, Benson and the Longhorn offensive line are going to have to keep the Texas defense off the field by running the ball between the hash-marks to keep the clock running. And though Vince's confidence is so low he probably couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat, Greg Davis is going to have to design some quick hitting passing plays that hopefully get Vince back in the swing of things and give UT a chance at 3rd and long situations. If not, Greg Robinson's defense is going to spend the whole night on the field and if they think the 81 plays Mizzou ran last week was a lot, those little five yard passes Tech throws will be enough to drive the ball down the field and drive Derrick Johnson and his guys insane. Adding to the frustration, Texas just hasn't done a good job getting pressure on the quarterback this year. They just can't allow Tech's Sonnie Cumbie to sit back in the pocket or he will pick them to pieces.

No doubt this game is tailor made for a Tech win. It's a night game, it's in Lubbock and Tech will be playing their usual reckless-abandon style football. But I've always liked how Texas plays when their backs are against the wall and everyone is expecting them to fail. It wouldn't surprise me to see Vince have a big game passing the ball. Of course, it also wouldn't surprise me to Chance Mock in the game before the end of the first quarter. But just who will win, on to the...

UNPREDICTABLE PREDICTION

Texas 45, (Sh)I.T.T. Tech 38

TAILGATE UPDATE

Kick-off against Texas Tech (hey, they got T-T on their helmets) is slated for 6pm Saturday night ("they mostly come at night, mostly"). And if you're like me (oh, me so Longhorny) and vowed never to return to Lubbock (Mudville), the game will be televised on TBS (That's Super!). For those of you who are going (to Brown Town), you'll find plenty of parking lots (dirt farms) to tailgate at around SBC Stadium (now that's a big phone booth). Just watch your back (Tortilla, incoming), it's not as bad as Fayetteville ("I don't dig on swine"), but Red Raider fans (rivalry refugees) will make your visit an unpleasant one (roll out the unwelcome mat).

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

This from Ryan Perrilloux, a Texas recruit and one of the nation's top high school quarterbacks..."I would seriously reconsider my commitment to Texas if offensive coordinator Greg Davis were fired after the season."

Who does this guy think he is, Jimmy Chitwood - "I play, coach stays. He goes, I go." The anti-Hoosier even went on to say that "Vince was a good QB, he's just struggling to make all of his passes right now." Can't wait to get him on campus.