Texas, Tulane 18
When the play on the field (like it was last Saturday night) is so spectacular you have to turn to the guy next to you and ask him if he'll dump the rest of his Lemmon Chill down your pants so you can stay awake, chances are, you had time to notice a few other things around you besides the game, like those groovy orange seatbacks. If you're a season ticket holder, you've undoubtedly been encouraged to order seatbacks to be installed. I, myself, finally broke down and ordered a pair this year and I can't remember a time when I've been happier about a purchase. (Big screen TV and Gas Powered Weedwacker, notable exceptions.) No longer do I lean back only to experience that tense moment when your flesh hits someone else's bony knee. No more do I get that raging back pack caused by cold, hard, cushion-less benches that only a couple of Doanes and a six pack of Bud can ease. And no longer can the people around me encroach on my seats and claim ignorance because the seat numbers have nearly been worn off by years of searing heat, driving rain and sweaty, super-sized butts that don't quit. So instead of wasting your time with a worthless recap of the Tulane game, I pay homage to the underappreciated and often misunderstood seatback chair with my...
ODE TO THE MIGHTY SEATBACK
(Think Wingman Coors commercial)
This chick's scootin' her butt into seat 3, row 4.
Her ass is an anchor.
You can't out flank her
She's takin' up her seat and half of yours.
So you buy the chair,
Because fair is fair: Mighty Seatback
It's taking one for the team,
so your butt can live the dream:
TU-LANE, DO-LANG, TU-LANE
Make no mistake about it, K-State is a big game. Of course if
Come early, be loud and stay late,
So I guess it's got to be fate,
We gonna put a whoopin' on K-State
GAMEDAY & TAILGATE UPDATE
Fowler, Corso and Herbstreet (the hairdo crew) are coming to Austin (Dellville). The GameDay set built by The Home Depot (Black&Decker set erecter) will be located by the fountains (no diving) near the LBJ Library (how ironic, another grassy knoll) across from the stadium ("will you protect this house?"). The area (okay, a corral) designated for the fans (Longhorns unlimited) opens at 9am (stampede!). Afterwards head back over to San Jac and 18th (needa fajita?) for the tailgate (fill'er up). And since there's no more S.I. Carnival to contend with (hey, no "fare"), Whittemore and the gang (Steers with beers) will have the beer trailer (there's no last call on this U-Haul) and BBQ smoker (meat wagon) back in our usual spot (fear change). Don't forget to chip in for parking (this ain't Monopoly) and speaking of, the Austin American-Statesman (Liberal Gazette) reported last week that Gonzalo Barrientos (El Heffe) included a repeal of the parking space tax (we don't need no stinking taxes) in a Senate bill. The House has to concur (say "I" again, I dare you), but we may soon see a return to tax-free parking (good-bye Tariff sheriff).
QUOTES OF THE WEEKEND
Returning to the seats just in time to see Tulane's QB J.P. Losman get sacked after a halftime spent in the beer tent:
"Hey J-P, that's a loss, man!"
I guess you had to be there.