Texas 17, Kansas State 14
6:32am - I'm having that dream where the alarm clock is going off at the same time it's going off for real (forgot to disarm it the night before) and, in my subconscious, I was doing everything short of smashing the damn thing with a hammer to get it to turn off. So frustrating. Must be how Greg Davis feels when he's awake. Anyway, I finally wake up with the help of a knee to the back from my wife and a bladder that had evidentially been on Defcon Pee for quite some time. With the alarm clock subdued for at least another 9 minutes, I turned to my wife for comfort and to tell her about the dream. Instead, she put the pillow over her ear and said, "don't forget to put the lid up." If that's not love, I don't know what is....
6:36am - After standing over the toilet for what seemed like an eternity and nearly fainting from the sensation of trying to expel happy hour in less than 30 seconds, I managed to make it all the way down the hallway to the front door in complete darkness. Awaiting me out on the front lawn in the cold, wet night air was the one thing every man desires at 6:36am on gameday. That's right, it was time to make the paper run and, as any real man knows, it only counts if you're barefoot and wearing nothing more than a pair of boxers and a smile. Interesting phenomenon: I'm not exactly what you'd call a speed merchant, but I can get from the front door, pick the paper up at the curb and get back inside before you can say "indecent exposure."
7:32am - With the sports section, Marmaduke and the horoscopes of Chris Simms, Greg Davis and Mack Brown thoroughly read, I settled in for what would be a really long day of watching nothing but college football. Does it get any better than that?
9:59am - Finally Robin Roberts has quit yapping about steroid abuse in the LPGA and it's time for Gameday with Fowler, Corso and Herbstreet. They're in
10:56am - Herbstreet and Corso both pick K-State to beat
11:31am - Back on the couch now, watching
12:56pm - Halftime, Corn 7, Pokes 3. I guess history will have to wait. Time for the pregame meal--I mean lunch. (So hard to let go.) If I was in Austin, I'd be at Schultz scarfing down two sausage wraps and a 24oz Bud, but I'm at home and my wife is out shopping, so it's a double decker PB&J, stale tortilla chips, a 3-day old cold pizza slice and a Coors Light. Ah, just like mom used to make, except without the crusts cut off and a straw for the Coors Light.
2:11pm - Called Shane for the 5th time to make sure he was still coming over for the TX game. Hey, we just lost to OU, this was no time to be alone. He was flipping back and forth between the OSU game and the TBS Shawshank Redemption marathon, same as me. The Pokes were winning and the warden was throwing rocks at "Ms. Fuzzy Britches," so we were feeling pretty good.
2:35pm - Forty years of frustration has ended as OSU has just beaten
2:41pm - In what can only be described as a "Homer Simpson," a group of OSU students all looked down to the other end of Lewis Stadium at the same time and collectively thought, "there's another goalpost?" High comedy to be sure. This one took so long to get down that the play-by-play guy in the booth actually said, "come on guys, get it down already, we've got to cut to commercial." So ridiculous. If you can't tear a goalpost down in the same time it takes to pick a chicken wing clean, you shouldn't tear one down at all. I guess OSU needs to have midnight goalpost practice like they do at Texas Tech.
2:42pm - Flipped over to ABC just in time to watch an Iowa State punt get blocked and a Cyclone player whif as he tried to kick it out of the back of the endzone. At that point it could have been the Twilight Zone for all I knew.
4:33pm - Sooners are now up 35-0 and Heisman trophy candidate Seneca Wallace has netted just 4 total yards of offense. The Cyclones couldn't even score after recovering the football at the
5:02pm - The OU/ISU tilt has gotten so bad that ABC has switched broadcasts and the entire nation is now watching the Wisconsin/Ohio State game.
6:02pm - Shane has arrived just in time toting beer and bourbon balls (don't ask) from a previous party. Meanwhile, Greg Davis has just finished scripting the first 20 offensive plays for
Longhorn fans never seem to get what they want, but somehow, they always seem to get what they need--to keep coming back, that is. Less than a week from a devastating upset at the hands of a bitter rival, the Horns traveled to
Seneca Wallace and the
In fact, I'd be surprised if they use much game film from the OU/ISU game in preparation this week other than to see how best to defend against Wallace. Fortunately,
"Longhorns break wind, beat Cyclones" (UT 24, ISU 17)
TAILGATE UPDATE w/NAD E. LITE
ABC (Whoa-Nelly) picked up the ISU game (Inane Cyclone Posse) for its regional telecast (parts is parts) starting around 2:30. So you ("you talkin' to me?") can expect Nad and the gang (Jac Street Boys) to be down at the corner of 18th and San Jacinto (Stompe le Longhorns) by about 10am Saturday morning (come early, join the crowd, stay awake). Per the usual (fear change), there will be beer on tap (cup sold separately) and beef grilling in the smoker (this little piggy went to the tailgate, oops). And of course, donations are always welcome (tip your waiter).
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"The pride and winning tradition of The University of Texas will not be entrusted to the weak or the timid." -Chanted by the Football team prior to the K-State game