Texas 17, Oklahoma State 15
17-15, are you kidding me? Someone please me tell me - can you actually look past a team when the whole week leading up to the game, everyone including the players and coaches we're saying "OU who, we're concerned with OSU!" Hell, they even printed T-Shirts about it. That game should have never even been close. Three missed field goals, one of which, the "Kick around the World" contestant could have made. Forget the free airline tickets, give that dude a helmet and a scholarship. Twenty-two incompletions, most of which were drops. Horrendous blocking up front. Poor tackling, not to mention the D giving up a 99-yard drive. And to top it all off,
ME, MYSELF AND (THE) I-FORMATION
Is Offensive Coordinator Greg Davis a schizophrenic or what? One minute he's Jack Pardee calling for the "Run and Shoot" minus the run. The next he's calling nothing but running plays out of the "I" and lobbying for a job at one of the service academies where they consider the forward pass a scheme devised by the left wing conspiracy. Who told GD that he was only allowed to pick one, running or passing, but not both on the same drive? Even the damn kid in the middle of my row, who got up to go to the bathroom 27 times during the first quarter, knew what the
Besides the national championship, this is bar none, the biggest game of the year in college football. Tickets for the game carry a street value only a pimp or a pusher could truly appreciate - a pair between the 20's is going for $900 or more. Wall Street,
Anyway, after last year's 14-3 heartbreaker, I was counting the days, just biding my time until the next shootout. And after the first four games this season, I thought this was the year the Horns would get sweet, sweet revenge against Stoops and those despicable Sooners. Not only would OU go down, but they'd go down hard. But after the OSU game, I'm not sure of anything anymore and now, instead of being eagerly anticipated, Saturday looms on the horizon like the last day of tax season. Oh, the horror.
Both teams are fresh off near upsets and look more vulnerable now than they have all season. The Sooners are still stacked on defense but seem to lack the senior leadership that made them so impenetrable last year. The Longhorns have a stout defense as well, but of late, have had trouble stopping the run, and bringing down the ball carrier at the point of first contact. On the other side of the ball, OU's offense has looked very average thus far. Hybl is not the scrambler that White was before the knee injury, and he's not considered a great passer outside the pocket. But what can make you weak can also make you strong. The Horns cannot afford to become complacent because, make no mistake about it, the Sooners still have a stable of tremendous athletes who can break one at any time and Hybl is still every bit the QB that OSU's Josh Fields is...and look what that guy did against Texas. As for
As for how the game will go, I see another defensive standoff. This may be the most anticipated coin flip of the year, as neither team will want to go on offense first. Offensively,
On the defensive side of the ball, the Sooners will look to rattle Simms early, causing him to shuffle his feet and throw ill-advised passes off the wrong foot. The line for
I needn't go any further than the
Seeing how there's not so much need for a tailgate (what-you-talkin'-'bout Willis?) when there's a state fair (mullet convention) going on, you're on your own this week (don't forget the buddy system?). But here's a few tips (observations really) just in case:
1) GET TO THE FAIRGROUNDS EARLY (like Tuesday). And save the bloody mary brunches at the in-laws (call me dad) for Sunday.
2) PARKING. The Cotton Bowl is not exactly located in the nicest of neighborhoods ("pardon me homes"). And even though the man standing in his front yard with the cardboard sign that reads "Parking $10" claims to be a respectable business man (too legit to quit), I don't recommend you leave your only mode of transportation (sweet ride) out of the hood (it's not all good) in his front yard (your car won't be the only thing on "grass"). Find a paved parking lot (long term, DFW) or take a cab. I suggest the parking lot outside the Smirnoff Music Theater (play some Skynard). It's a great place if you get there early enough ("here comes the sun...").
3) NO WALLETS, NO PURSES. Get a money clip (or a paper clip) for your driver's license, date's ID (she said she was 18), cash, credit card and tickets. Then put it all in your front pocket (next to the gummy bears).
4) COUPON TICKETS. Find a coupon booth (next to the pig toss) immediately upon arrival and however many tickets you think you should buy, double that (super size it). Coupons are the state fair's elaborate little scheme (bait & switch) to try and hide the fact that you just spent $12 (is that tax deductible?) on a corndog (mmm, meat on a stick) and a beer.
5) GO TO THE GAME EARLY. Find the gate number on your ticket (your age minus beers consumed) and enter that gate ("are you the key master?").
The corridors of the Cotton Bowl are extremely narrow (Moooooo!) and when they fill up, they're worse than a junior high hallway after the lunch bell rings (hall rage).
6) FORGET THE FLASK. I know, I know, it's a right of passage ("good talk Russ"). But after Sept. 11 and with security guards (hey tough guy) at all the gates with magnetic wands (use the force) and frisky hands (Is that a corndog in your pocket or are you...), it's not worth blowing all that cash (bling-bling) on tickets just to watch the game with the boys downtown (jailgate). If spirits (oh Captain, my Morgan) are a must, then replace the cleaning solution (so hard to find good help) in your contact lens bottle with the liquor.
7) BIG TEX. Designate a meeting spot (Section "Oh", Row G) for your group before you get drunk and disoriented (Scout master Bob's missing and my butt hurts). And I repeat, BIG TEX (he's tall for his age) is NOT a good place to meet. There are many other viable landmarks (like Uranus) to choose from.
Add suntan lotion and adhere to these seven simple edicts and as they say, the rest is up to you.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK"Wow, that’s not potpourri?" – Some girl who was waiting in line in front of me for the port-o-potty