Texas 36, Oklahoma State 10

Not much to say after that total beat-down other than...

LATER HATERS
Is there any doubt that idle conjecture has reached critical mass when college football's esteemed punditry spends the majority of the week leading up the game extolling the "unstoppability" of a 5-3 Oklahoma State Cowboy offense with a resume replete with losses to Cougar High, K-State, and A&M at home. Even the king of the prognosticators, Lee Corso, felt it incumbent upon himself to not only pick 17-point underdog Okie State to upset #4 Texas in Austin, but went so far as to say OSU would win easily. But let's hear for it Lee, he's not just the Captain of the A.S.S. Clown, that hyperbole-addicted hypocrite also served as the main source of inspiration to UT's injury depleted defense who held Bobby Reid and that indomitable Cowboy offense to 203 yards and a field goal.

Speaking of OSU's offense, what's up with all the skill position players raising up and looking over at their coach Mike Gundy like Ritalin-addicted gophers before every play (Credit Pat Culpepper over at InsideTexas.com for pointing this out in one of his articles the week). As far as I could tell, the only thing the "Gopher-O" effectively accomplished was neutralizing whatever advantage the Cowboys might have gained by running a no-huddle offense. Moreover, how many different types of plays can you relay in using frantic hand gestures and assorted facial ticks? On top of that, Gene "the Shiz-nit" Chizik had the Texas linebackers wait to pull one of those signature line shifts until right before the Cowboys snapped the ball. Thus adding even more confusion and consternation to the Poke's "Pop-N-Refresh" offense.

On the other side of he ball, I thought Texas put up a very workmanlike 36 points. It wasn't flashy but provided solid proof that this offense was capable of sustaining long drives without having to resort to a trick play or bomb to Sweed to score. Though, Greg Davis still seems to be suffering from mental constipation every time UT gets inside the red zone and more specifically, inside the 10. Even if the defense knows what's coming, how a 275-pound Henry Melton can't score from 5-yards out on 3 plays with UT's offensive line is beyond me. But Charles did run it in from about 7 yards out later in that quarter. Solid win. On to the...

NEXT GAME
After all the ridiculous build-up to the OSU game, maybe the pundits are admitting a little my bad-mea cupla because all the talk this week is about McCoy, Blalock and Ross' post-season award possibilities and UT's BCS Title chances. Which, in opinion, couldn't be worse. The Horns are heavy favorites playing on the road against a K-State team with nothing to lose making the cat fight a classic, late-season "trap game." And though they are already bowl-qualified, you've got to think the Wildcats under first-year head coach Ron Prince are treating this game like a program-defining opportunity to knock off the #3 team in the country.

Statistically, KSU doesn't even belong on the same continent as Texas, but I can't help but be reminded of the game in Lawrence two years ago when heavily favored Texas narrowly pulled off a last second win over Manginosaurus Rex and the Jayhawks. And they needed a "gift call" from the refs and a VY miracle 4th and 18 conversion to do it.

Let's hope for the sake of Longhorn Nations' collective heart, that Texas takes care of business early like they should. So will they win, on to the...

UNPREDICTABLE PREDICTION
Texas 33
Mildcats 13

TAILGATE UPDATE
Just when I thought my streak of road trips had ended ("We're going STREAKING"), I get a Southwest Airline's Rapid Reward out of nowhere ("Excuse me while I whip this out") and just like that ("Are we doin' this? Is it on?"), I'm off to Manhattan, Kansas (It's Manhappening) this weekend to visit the Bill Snyder Family Stadium (Right next to Bob Huggins' Free Clinic). As luck would have it (Fortune smiles on the bold), I have a good friend and K-State alum who just happens to live in Kansas City (No way...way). We'll probably get to Manhattan (The Little Apple) around 2pm and hit the parking lots (Pave the way) near the stadium for a tailgating good time (Cats Gone Wild). If by chance you find yourself in the greater Manhattan area this Saturday ("Yeah, I'm talking to you Mr. Fiesta Bowl Committee Man"), just look for a burnt-orange clad guy in a sea of purple (Clash Gordon). For the rest of you (Donde esta, beeches), kick-off is at 7pm on ABC (After Dinner Winner).


QUOTEWORTHY
El Arroyo (Mexican Restaurant) is Spanish for ditch or gutter and apparently that's exactly where my mind was while ordering lunch last Saturday...

Me: "I'll have the special."
Waitress: "What kind of meat do you want in your taco?"
Me: "I don't know, what kind of meat do you like in your taco?"
Waitress (Not amused): Um, yeah, they're all pretty good.
Me (Hiding behind menu now): I'll just have the beef.
Waitress: Soft or hard?
Me (Choking): Come again.
Waitress (Really not amused now): Do you want a soft taco or a hard taco?


Near my parents' house in Austin, about a mile up the road from Barton Springs, is a local convenience store owned and run by a family of Middle-Eastern decent. And though their English is a bit sketchy, they've really tried to ingratiate themselves to the neighborhood by posting supportive messages to Longhorns fans on their marquee sign. But I think this week's message got lost in translation...

"WHAT NOW LONGHORNS"

Hook'em,
54b