Texas 22, Nebraska 20

Before leaving for the Dallas airport to fly to Kansas City last Friday, I checked the weather forecast for Lincoln, Nebraska for the 1,000th time: “High of 47, windy, rain dissipating by late Saturday morning.” Certainly not ideal, but with kick-off set for 11am, I figured we’d be a little cold but nothing a few layers, a poncho, and a flask of “grandpa’s cough syrup” couldn’t remedy. Especially when you consider that it was warm enough to put the top down on the drive up to Lincoln less than 24 hours before game time. So you can imagine my incredulity when the guy on the radio said, “Big XII officials are expecting weather conditions for the game to be 32 degrees with a good chance for snow! In retrospect, that was probably not the best time to tell the Weatherman to go stick his thermometer “where the sun don’t shine” as he apparently took it personally and stuck it in Lincoln. Regardless, me and 4,000 other Texas fans toughed it out in the upper deck of Nebraska’s famed Memorial stadium which, overall, is a pretty cool place to watch a game (no pun intended, but strangely appropriate).

Before kick-off, my friends and I went under the stands near the player’s dressing room. You can literally stand by and watch the players walk in out with nothing but a thin rope separating you. In fact, when the players returned from warming up, my overzealous friend Brad decided to slap them all on the shoulder pad as they walked by even though he is neither five years old nor retarded. And wouldn’t you just know it, when #12, who is a bit shorter than most of the other players, walked by, Brad missed his shoulder pad and knocked the player upside the helmet. By the way, #12 is Colt McCoy. At this point, I didn’t know whether to laugh or kill Brad. Instead, I just froze with one of those “I just shat in my pants” smiles on my face and said, “Go Longhorns.” No doubt that was the seminal moment of the day and one you just had to be there for to truly appreciate. But since most of Longhorn Nation wasn’t able to see the Horns narrowly defeat the Huskers in person, I think it’s time for another addition of...


0 – 0 S-s-s-start the g-g-g-game already, my-my-my-my nipples are so-so-so hard they could cut-cut-cut glass.

3 – 0 78-yard kick-off return to start the game, only 10 yards to pay-dirt, and all we can do is move sideways. If the NCAA kept stats on yards gained from sideline to sideline, Greg Davis would be known as the father of the “East-West Coast Offense.”

3 – 7 Doh!

9 – 7 A wise man once said: “If you give the quarterback time to throw the ball and allow the play to develop, Colt will show you the Quan.”

16 – 7 Limas has one-on-one coverage on the corner....we feel the need, the need for Sweed!

16 – 14 Tackle him...no seriously, tackle him...for the love of good scotch, somebody TACKLE HIM!!!! Oh hell, at least the shovel pass finally worked for somebody.

19 – 14 1st and Goal from the two-yard line and we settle for another f****** field goal? That’s unforgivable. We have arguably the best offensive line in the country and a 285-pound battering ram for a tailback just sitting on the sideline. Apparently Greg Davis feels the shortest distance between two points is to stick his head straight up his ass.

19 – 20 What is the deal with corn anyway? You can shuck it, eat it, and defecate it, but it just keeps coming back.

22 – 20 Thanks to Mr. Bailey, it truly is a wonderful life.

As I exited the stadium last Saturday amongst several red-clad Husker fans, I noticed most of them weren’t particularly upset about the loss. In fact, most of them felt Nebraska had acquitted themselves well and had earned a little respect from the Horns and the rest of college football. The prevailing sentiment of Huskers and Longhorns alike was that we’d meet again in KC for the Big XII Championship. But of course, there were certainly a few unhappy Husker fans (we’ll call them Cornholes) who apparently weren’t interested in proliferating Nebraska’s classy reputation, and went on and on about how UT sucks and how lucky Texas was to win the game. Even a columnist in the Lincoln Journal Star gave little credit to UT’s dominating defensive performance and went so far as to call Cornhusker receiver Terrence Nunn’s fumble a gift.

Well, let me be the last to say thank you very much for the fumble and simply ask all of Huskerland what they thought about the Longhorn’s two missed field goals, incompetent play calling in the red zone, and that ridiculous unsportsmanlike penalty to get Nebraska out of 2nd and 20? Were those not gifts too? Not to mention the fact that UT put the ball on the ground with six fumbles of their own. Let’s face it, Texas blew about 20 chances to put the game away and Nebraska blew one. That being said, I do feel fortunate to get out of Lincoln with a win and I’m not all that excited about the prospects of seeing the Huskers again in KC, but before we can worry about that, we better win the...

Admittedly, Texas Tech worries me more than any other opponent on UT’s schedule year in and year out. You never know which Red Raider team is going to show up. I think a Tech alum friend of mine summed it up best when he said, “Every season we’re going to win one game we shouldn’t and lose one game we shouldn’t.” Last year, Tech beat OU on a questionable play to end the game finishing 2nd in the conference but inexplicably lost to an OSU team who only won one conference game. This year, Tech beat a ranked Texas A&M team in College Station on a long pass in the final minute of the game and somehow lost 30-6 to a winless Colorado team. Needless to say, Tech is consistently inconsistent and that’s what concerns me, especially when the game is played in Lubbock and Tech has their spread offense humming.

A lot has been written this week in the papers about UT’s banged up defense and how this game is reminiscent of the game back in 2002 when a Texas team beset with injuries on defense lost a shootout to Tech out in Lubbock. And while injuries certainly do play a factor, I still put the primary responsibility for winning this game in the hands of Colt McCoy and the Texas offense. Texas Tech’s defense has not been great at stopping the run and with UT’s experienced line and stable of talented backs, the Longhorns should be able to manage the pace of the game, eat up the clock, and keep Tech’s potent offense off the field. Can they do that? Well before last week’s game in Lincoln, I would have bet on it. But after watching the Longhorns inexcusably fail to score a TD after getting the ball 1st and Goal at the Nebraska two, I’m not so sure.

So can the Horns go for 2 for 2 in what most pundits called the toughest two-week stretch of the season, for that capricious prognostication it’s time for the...

Texas 42
Rivalry Refugees 24

For those of you going to Lubbock (Who run Barter Town?), watch your ass (or you’ll be taking it in the Lubbotocks). Game starts at 6pm (they mostly come at night, mostly) and will be televised on TBS (That’s Super).


Longhorn fan (Section 19, Row 90ish) yelling at a Husker fan shooting the UT section the Horns down and wearing an eyebrow piercing...
“Hey, nice eye-ring...even if Nebraska wins, your father will still hate you.”

Shortly after I drunk dialed a Wing house in Lincoln to deliver 50 Hot Wings to The Cornhusker Hotel bar...
"You know the one thing I like about 54b...if you give him a mission, he always completes it, no matter what it takes."
"Yeah, he's like a drunk Rambo."



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