Texas 45, Baylor 21

Well I was at Royal Memorial to witness the Longhorns rebound from their only loss of the season with a 45-21 thumping of the Bears. Were you?

Judging by the number of empty seats and overall lack of exuberance of the crowd at the Baylor game, I’d say the Horns’ brutal schedule has not only been tough on the players and coaches, but on the fans as well. And while I’m sure there are myriad of reasons to explain why such apathy pervaded our “loyal” fan base last Saturday (opponent, early start time, etc.), I'd rather not make excuses, only point out the...


10) Spent weekend searching for alternate universe where Blake Gideon actually caught the ball to beat Tech and college football uses a play-off to decide its champion.

9) Decided Old Crow was just too formal for this game opting to sneak in flask full of Nyquil instead.

8) Posed as a reporter from the Houston Chronicle and asked Art Briles why he enjoyed coaching high school football so much.

7) Got caught up in the whole aerial hunting fad and figured shooting a bear from a helicopter would be more sporting than rooting against one from a bleacher seat.

6) Found out Baylor President rescinded the rule against dancing and skipped the game to attend a casting call for Footloose remake. (Sorry, that’s Top 10 Signs Baylor Fans weren’t taking the Longhorns seriously.)

5) Refused to remove "I voted for The Green Party” sticker from election Tuesday.

4) Brought a copy of Vogue to the game hoping the BCS would award Texas style points.

3) Left game early to go to Chick-fil-A because you thought all the empty seats in the alumni section spelled out the phrase: “Eat Mor Chikin”

2) Unfurled sign that read: “Mr. Griffin, VY was a friend of mine and you sir, are no VY.”

And the #1 sign Longhorns Fans weren’t taking Baylor seriously...

1) Sat out due to bruised ego suffered last week in Lubbock.

No doubt Texas players and fans alike are hurting and it's not just due to injuries. The days following the Tech loss have been particularly tough emotionally as well. After a meteoric rise to the top of the polls, dreams of another National Title shot have been replaced with an array of mind-numbing scenarios detailing the seemingly endless number of ways this season could play out. Most of them are not very positive in regards to UT's Big XII Championship chances and none of them are in the team's control as they must now depend on the misfortunes of other teams to achieve the post-season glory which seemed fated just a few weeks ago.

Rather than go into any further detail about potential tie-breakers and BCU hypotheses, I'd rather concentrate on what we do know and that's the fact that championships of any kind are impossible if the Longhorns don't win the...

After going 12-1 with an Orange Bowl victory over Virginia Tech in 2007, Kansas players, coaches, and fans are surely shaking their heads after dropping four games thus far in 2008. KU's 6-4 record has also provided plenty of fodder for those critics who attribute the Jayhawks' impressive showing last year to a weak schedule. And though he won't admit it public ally, Coach Mangino undoubtedly views the game against a highly ranked Texas team as one of the few remaining chances to quiet the naysayers this season and validate his belief that the Kansas football program has indeed turned a corner towards a lasting prominence.

In order to pull the upset, Kansas QB and Austin native Todd Reesing will most likely have to provide the kind of offensive fireworks that have warranted his inclusion as a member of the Big XII's more highly regarded quarterbacks and the KU defense will need to find another gear which has thus far alluded them in games against teams that feature those same prominent signal callers.

Given the less than favorable weather conditions and the fact that every road game in the Big XII is tough, this will definitely be a test for Colt McCoy and the banged-up Longhorns. But if they stay focused and play even close to the level they have all season, it shouldn't be a contest.

As for whether the Horns will stay on track towards another possible BCS bowl birth and give Mangino another evidence to back his vast BCS conspiracy theories, we'll have to present the always inadmissable...

Texas 42
Mangina Chest Pains 24

Even though the game between the Longhorns and the Jayhawks (Mad Cow vs. Bird Flu) is set to kick-off early in near freezing weather conditions (“The time is Eleven-Thirty, the temp is Witch’s Titty”), my friends and I (The B-Team) are still heading up to Kansas this weekend anyway (“Carry on my wayward sons”). If any of you are brave enough to join us (You can talk the talk, but can you rock the chalk?), chances are good most Longhorns fans (Agent Burnt Orange) will be pre-gaming Friday night on Massachusetts Street (It has Mass appeal). Don’t quote me on this (54bullshit on its way), but I hear two of the more popular places (Hot spots for cool kids) are The Free State Brewery (Brown vs. Board of Inebriation) and a bar called Brothers (“brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta chug”).

Given the early start time (Early Bird Special), I’d imagine pre-game tailgating will be kept to a minimum (Sir, I don’t appreciate your glass half-empty attitude). Your best bet is probably a post-game pub crawl (You must learn to drink before you walk) at some of the college bars located on Ohio Street (Swing State Breweries) just east of campus like The Wheel (Give it a turn) and The Hawk (Don’t forget your wingman).


“The team knows you’re going out there to win and when you lose it’s upsetting. Getting a win back under our belt, everybody’s got the motivation. We’re all high again and just ready for the next game.” - Texas LB, Mathew McConaughey

Whoops, correction, that was actually Texas LB, Roddrick Muckelroy.

Either way...all right, all right, all right.



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