Texas 30, A&M 38

Well, that sucked.

No doubt there are a myriad of reasons UT showed up "sleepy" the day after Turkey Day against their in-state rivals, A&M for the second year in a row. But since Mack wasn't talking to the media, I figured we'll just let Jamaal Charles "esplain it to us...no there is to much, he will sum up..."

"They've (A&M) got a better game plan, and they prepared better for us. They bring everything they've got. They beat Texas; it's like their bowl game."

If victorious, UT would have finished 10-2 and assuredly received a BCS bowl invite (hmm, where have I seen this before). But alas, it was not meant to be. So what did the Agros get for their 38-30 win over the Horns? Tell'em Bob Barker: "It's a new coach!" Enjoy your parting gift Fran, you'll always be our V.I.P....

No doubt many Texas fans are hoping for a few new coaches under our Christmas tree as well. But Mack's a pretty loyal guy and if Akina or Mac Duff do leave, it will be done in a little intimate press conference where Mack says, "So-and-so is leaving the Longhorn family to pursue his hobby or spend more time with his pet Iguana."

Anyway, count me in the minority of fans who thinks the blame should be equally bestowed on the coaches and players. And perhaps, dare I say it, blame is not the right word. The 2007 Texas Longhorns were an inexperienced team to begin with and injuries to key personnel certainly didn't help. So knowing this, why are so many Longhorns so depressed about finishing...

9 AND 3

1) UT began the year ranked in the Top 5 and sank like a breached oil tanker from the first week on.

2) Recruiting Gurus have told us UT has the horses to win it all every year, yet we looked vastly overrated against competition we believed to be inferior because "they don't have as many 5-stars recruits as we did."

3) Longhorns fans fear that Mack may have peaked in 2005 (or it was all VY) and regret that he didn't get more conference titles and wins over OU in the past 10 years.

4) We've lost faith in the coordinators and don't feel like Mack is willing to make changes.

5) Lastly, no wins over rivals this season and no real big wins to speak of at all.

It's sort of the "what will I tell my kids about 2007" factor. From the fan's perspective, there's just not a whole lot to be really proud of this year...the comebacks against NU and OSU were fun, but those teams were .500 or worse.

And when you think about Mack's tenure, I think this is the first year UT fans believe the season may end without something really good to remember or hang our proverbial hat on. Looking back...

1998 - Ricky won the Heisman, UT broke Nebraksa's home winning streak, and they beat OU and A&M

1999 - Big win at home over #3 Nebraska and a big comeback win over OU

2000 - Simms came off the bench to torch A&M

2001 - As bad as the loss to CU in the conference title game was, we still had the farewell to Major Holiday Bowl comback win over Washington

2002 - Big wins in Lincoln and Manhattan, destroyed A&M, and topped it all off with a fun win over LSU in Cotton Bowl

2003 - Not a good year, but we did put a huge ass whipping on A&M in College Station

2004 - Rose Bowl win over Michigan

2005 - Best season of our lives, period

2006 - Win over OU and the snow game in Lincoln

2007 - ?

Maybe something emotionally tangible will happen in the bowl game, but I'm not holding my breath. I think if Texas fans are to get any satisfaction out of this season, we'll need a win over a formidable SEC team in the Cotton Bowl or highly ranked Pac 10 team in the Holiday Bowl. And with the defense playing the way it is now, that's asking a lot.

Moving on...as this is the last commentary of the season, I thought I'd invite you, the beleagured reader, to step out and walk around the ledge of my brain while I spill me soul in a little segment I like to call...


- I used to think Colt McCoy and his "Malcom In the Middle" body frame was the most un-athletic looking QB I’d ever seen. And then I saw Chase Daniels. He has single-handledly debunked the stigma that chunky kids have to play on the o-line (I know you meant well, dad, but it still hurts). Anyway, Chase gives hope to bulbous faced kids like me every where. Though I heard when he scrambles, baby chickens abort.

- Did you read the DMN sports page today...why are so many parents of Sooners players in prison? And do you think Curtis Lofton’s mom and Adrian Peterson’s dad hooked up in the pen? According to the warden, AD’s dad’s nickname is also "All Day," but he totes a different kind of ball. In other news, VY's dad posted bail by selling his "super baby making" sperm on Craig's List. Unfortunately a turkey baster won't load it, you'll need one of those T-shirt cannons to inseminate.

- Is it just me or have you ever noticed how QB Sam Bradford’s eyes are set really far apart? Maybe it’s because he’s half Cherokee, half llama but I think if Sam’s eyes were closer together, he would have seen that Texas Tech linebacker baring down on him. A Sooner friend of mine said Bradford was the love child of Robby Benson and Bill Walton with bad acne.

- Did anyone else notice that when Mike Leach twitched his crooked goblin nose during the onsides kick at the end of the Tech upset of OU, DeMarco Murray blew out his knee. Coincidence? I think not. That sweet orb has power...well, except over referees anyway. .

- If OU wins the Big XII Title, I hear they’ll play Kansas in the Fiesta Bowl. I know what you're thinking and you're right, how the hell will Mangino muster enough moisture to keep the rice cooking in his jowls in those arid desert conditions? I don’t know, but if your his clipboard guy, you should wear a seatbelt. BTW, best College Gameday fan poster from last Saturday at Arrowhead: Picture of Mangino’s head with a thought bubble saying, "Mizzou, get in my belly."

- Rumor has it that Arkansas and A&M will be playing at the Cowboy’s new stadium in 2009 around the same time as TX/OU weekend. Can you imagine Longhorns, Sooners, Aggies and Razorbacks all converging on the Metroplex at the same time. None of those fan bases like each other and they all hate us. Great Oden's Raven, every hotel lobby, restaurant and bar in DFW would look like a scene straight out of Anchorman when all the news teams rumble...

Mack: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Akina: It jumped up a notch.
Mack: It did, didn't it?
Davis: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Mack: I saw that. Greg killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Davis: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Mack: Greg, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

- My Longhorn Foundation donation solicitation extortion email arrived today (read: Pay up or lose your season tickets)...frankly, I’m surprised it wasn’t a singing telegram from Mia Hamm and Nomahhhh who just "happened" to stop by DKR this week for an interview with MackBrown-TexasFootball.com...here's my favorite quote:

MB-TF.com: "Did you have the opportunity to attend the 2005 National Championship Game?"

Garciaparra: "As a matter of fact we did..."

“Dear upset Longhorns Fans, did you enjoy that 2005 Championship...I hope you enjoyed it very much.”

- What I got out of Chip Brown’s last Q&A newsletter on Friday:

The 2007 Texas Football season was a giant f*cking waste of time.

Team expectations/goals achieved: None ("We Earned The Right to shut the f*ck up")

Pre-Season promises kept: None (Except Akina breaking down and using Just-For-Men on his porn-stache)

Quality wins: None (But we're really good at recovering onside kicks)

UT Coaches on the hot seat: None (SMU did take a flyer on Greg Davis but decided they didn't deserve another death penalty)

Satisfied Longhorns Fans: None (The offense was inconsistent and the defense just never quite showed up...only Bevo got "fixed" this year)

- Is there any wonder why Duane Akina is the leading candidate to fill the vacant Washington Generals head coaching job?

- "Texas football players Andre Jones and James Henry were indicted Thursday by a Travis County grand jury in connection with an alleged robbery in July involving former Texas football player Robert Joseph. According to police, Joseph and Jones broke into an apartment in southeast Austin on July 27 and stole cash, cell phones and gaming equipment."

Let’s hope they’re acquitted because I don’t think any of us could stand the irony if the football team was given Nintendos as bowl prizes.

- Speaking of bowls...I took a straw poll of all my UT friends to gage interest in going to whatever bowl game UT ended up at and let’s just say, Dennis Kucinich has a better shot at the White House. Regardless, I will be there...just look for the guy wearing the T-Shirt that reads:

Longhorn football made me hate myself...hold me

And last but not least...a nod to baskeball (read: acceptance that football season has failed and the herd must move on to survive):

- Does Bill Simmons' Ewing Theory apply to Kevin Durrant and the 2007-08 Texas Longhorns Basketball team? (Big time star leaves, team imporves?)

Honestly, I can't really get into basketball yet, but I think it's all we've got...well, unless A&M beats us at that too. If that happens, I may have to cryogenically freeze my ego.



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